Cool Quotes [13-10-19]

Cool Quotes

I must be the luckiest man in the world. Not only am I bisexual, I am also Welsh.

• John Osborne

You have a wonderful child. Then, when he's 13, gremlins carry him away and leave in his place a stranger who gives you not a moment's peace.

• Jill Eikenberry

Somebody's boring me, I think it's me.

• Dylan Thomas

 

Cool Quotes [13-9-19]

Cool Quotes

The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life.

• Glenda Jackson

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between dog and a man.

• Mark Twain

The minute you choose to do what you really want to do, it's a different kind of life.

• Richard Buckminster Fuller 

Cool Quotes [24-12-17]

Cool Quotes 

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even it costs them their jobs

• Sam Goldwyn

Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of reason with unreason

• Jack Kroll

Why do they build walls around cemeteries? It's silly beyond a doubt. The people outside don't want to get in and the people inside can't get out!!!

• Harley Babe

  

Cool Quotes [27-11-17]

Cool Quotes  

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good

• Woody Allen

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven - Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven.

• Brian O'Rourke

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself there.

• Fred Allen

 

Cool Quotes [11-11-17]

Cool Quotes 

Justice has been described as a lady who has been subjected to so many miscarriages as to cast serious reflections on her virtue

• William Prossner

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way around.

• David Lodge

When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong

• Richard Buckminster Fuller

Cool Quotes [30-10-17]

Cool Quotes 

He was a man of many parts, but badly assembled

• Nancy Boyd

Let me tell you one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil

• Golda Meir

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? - the cuckoo clock

• Orson Wells   

Cool Quotes [16-10-17]

Cool Quotes 

Shopping is better than sex. If you're not satisfied after shopping, you can make an exchange for something you really like

• Adrienne Gusoff

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

• Brendan Francis

When you're in love, it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

• Richard Lewis

Cool Quotes [15-10-17]

Cool Quotes 

Worst Month of the Year: February. February has only 28 days in it, which means that if you rent an apartment, you are paying for three full days you don't get. Try to avoid Februarys whenever possible.

• Steve Rubenstein

A lot of people wonder how you know if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this one question: Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?

• Ronnie Shakes

A little tomato who knows her onions can go out with an old potato and come home with a lot of lettuce and a couple of carats

• Herbert V Prochnow

 

Cool Quotes [14-10-17]

Cool Quotes

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog

• Mark Twain

No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them

• R&D supervisor 3M Corp.

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them

• Bill Vaughan

Cool Quotes [13-10-17]

Cool Quotes

To attract men I wear a perfume called, 'New Car Interior.'

• Rita Rudner

Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them but I wouldn't want to own one

• W.C. Fields

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired

• Mark Twain

 

Cool Quotes [8-10-17]

 
Cool Quotes 

Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon.

• Jilly Cooper

When I was a little boy, I wanted to be a baseball player, and join the circus. With the Yankees, I've accomplished both

• Anthony Standen

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy

• Tom Clancy

Cool Quotes [23-8-17]

 
Cool Quotes 

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me

• Dick Martin

 
Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do.

• R. A. Heinlein

In this life all that I have is my word and my balls and I do not break them for nobody

• Al Capone

Cool Quotes [20-8-17]

Cool Quotes 

A politician is a man who will doublecross a bridge when he comes to it

• Oscar Levant

It usually takes 100 years to make a law, and then, after it's done its work, it usually takes 100 years to be rid of it

• Henry Ward Beecher

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason

• Oscar Wilde

Cool Quotes [17-8-17]

Cool Quotes 

Marraige is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution

• Groucho Marx

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

• Winston Churchill

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating

• Ashleigh Brilliant

Cool Quotes [14-8-17]

Cool Quotes 

You know the difference between a rich genius and a broke genius? ...a broke genius is two years ahead of his time, a rich genius is six months ahead of his time

• Clayton P. Knowles, Jr.

  
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others

• Doug Larson

The world we live in: Just look at us. Everything is  backwards. Everything is upside down. Doctors destroy  health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy  knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the major media  destroy information, and religion destroys spirituality

• Michael Ellner

Cool Quotes [12-8-17]

 
Cool Quotes  

Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of reason with unreason

• Jack Kroll

I drink to make other people interesting

• George Jean Nathan

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair

• Rodney Dangerfield

The most difficult part of getting to the top of the ladder is getting through the crowd at the bottom

• Arch Ward, Promoter and sports editor

Cool Quotes [11-8-17]

Cool Quotes  

Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet

• Robin Williams

 
I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.

• Dan Quayle

I wanted to be an atheist, but I gave it up. They have no holidays

• Henny Youngman

Cool Quotes [8-8-17]

Cool Quotes 

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy

• Steve Martin

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

• Earl Wilson 

We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees

• Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division

Cool Quotes [5-8-17]

Cool Quotes  


If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it

• Unknown

There is no love sincerer than the love of food

• George Bernard Shaw

Tourism is an odd thing. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning all the comforts of home, and then expend time and money in a futile attempt to recapture the comforts that you wouldn't have lost if you hadn't left home in the first place

• Bill Bryson

Cool Quotes [2-8-17]

Cool Quotes

The problem with the world is that everyone’s is a few drinks behind

• Humphrey Bogart

When you innovate, you’ve got to be prepared for everyone telling you you’re nuts

• Larry Ellison

The reason husbands and wives do not understand each other is because they belong to different sexes

• Dorothy Dix